Long way to go

As a pre-adolescent, I, like many my age(12ish), discovered boys. Oh my. And in my infinite wisdom and deep understanding of the Bible, I clung to a verse believing that since I "desired" this boy in my heart, that God would cause said "boy" to desire my heart as well!
Are you familiar with the verse? "Delight yourselves also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 See? It says it right there! All I had to do was to "be happy in God" and he would give me whatever I desired in my heart!
Oh, wait. That's not really what it means is it? Well of course not! Now don't you feel silly?! I certainly do looking back over years of immaturity and discovery. Alas, our past and our mistakes and our successes all play a wonderful role in who we are now. Thankfully, I have grown significantly and am finally becoming what I think God intended for me to be. A student. A learner and an "imparter" of that learning. Sounds fancy, huh? ( Please note that I do temper all imparting with a disclaimer releasing me from any liability in the likely event that I am completely wrong!)
In a recent Bible study, Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn, I was reminded of this verse and was challenged once again to evaluate what this verse, lived out, looks like. Denise was referencing a period in her life in which she and her husband were having to make difficult decisions and felt no clarity from God in it (sound familiar?) She touched on this verse and stated, "How can God give you the desires of your heart if your desires don't meet His?" Boom. There it is.
We must first allow God to place His desires in our hearts by being in relationship and fellowship with Him in order to allow Him to fulfill those desires. Perhaps confusing at first glance. I think going back to the first part of the verse is key. "Delight yourself also in the Lord." What does it mean to delight in something? Once reference says "to be happy about to make merry over"
Matthew Henry's Commentary states this regarding Delighting in the Lord.
We must make God our heart's delight and then we shall have our heart's desire, v. 4. We must not only depend upon God, but solace ourselves in him. We must be well pleased that there is a God, that he is such a one as he has revealed himself to be, and that he is our God in covenant. We must delight ourselves in his beauty, bounty, and benignity; our souls must return to him, and repose in him, as their rest, and their portion for ever. Being satisfied of his loving-kindness, we must be satisfied with it, and make that our exceeding joy, Ps. xliii. 4. We were commanded (v. 3) to do good, and then follows this command to delight in God, which is as much a privilege as a duty. If we make conscience of obedience to God, we may then take the comfort of a complacency in him. And even this pleasant duty of delighting in God has a promise annexed to it, which is very full and precious, enough to recompense the hardest services: He shall give thee the desires of thy heart. He has not promised to gratify all the appetites of the body and the humours of the fancy, but to grant all the desires of the heart, all the cravings of the renewed sanctified soul. What is the desire of the heart of a good man? It is this, to know, and love, and live to God, to please him and to be pleased in him
 I'm learning the key is to immerse myself in the Word and let it speak to my heart. I need to ask for wisdom and understanding and He will allow this to come to my heart either through a renewed passion, a new understanding or maybe even through a friend and open discussion. I'm no pro at this. Discipline is definitely one of my shortcomings that I hope to improve on. I hope to share with you over time my journey in delighting and immersing and report on God's goodness through it all.
Your heart will begin to desire those things you are taking delight in.
What do you desire today? Me? Well, at the moment, Zaxby's sounds good! Oops. That's not exactly what we were talking about was it?


Delighting-In the Meantime,
Heather

Month of Milestones and Car Lines

What a month! As mentioned before, we have celebrated my husband's 40th birthday, my daughter's 3rd birthday and will soon celebrate my 32nd birthday. (Yes, that's my real age. I own it.)

Jackson's first day of school was just a short few days ago. Wow. Part of me just can't believe he's old enough for it, but we've been preparing for this for years, so it really should come as no big shock to the system. When I woke him up that morning, he said, "What are we doing today?" I told him, "It's your first day of Kindergarten!" He replied very sleepily, "Yay!" That's a good start. Today on the way to school, he said, "I can't wait to see what this day will be!" Another good beginning.

I've been thrilled to spend part of each morning reading a devotion and hearing his sweet prayers as we head to school. It's a great routine to be in, but I'll be honest, neither of us are enjoying these early morning awakenings!
As quickly as we sent Jackson off to school, Chloe began preschool. She was thrilled! Happy to be back with her friends and be upstairs with the big kids! (she has been downstairs for the last 2 years in the 2 and under classes) She's a very independent little one and sat right down saying "Bye Mommy! Bye Daddy!

She loved sitting down to her own desk like big brother! She was excited for her first day!

And then sweet girl passed out waiting to pick up Jackson in the car line at school! 

Speaking of car lines...wow. I knew it would be bad, but I had little understanding of the true torture that is the car line. You can't really read anything, too much stop and go (well, that is after the endless waiting while the bus riders get loaded and gone and the first car riders get loaded up.) Can't sleep (the honking cars behind me keep waking me up) Can't crochet (don't know how). Can't watch a movie(Chloe has confiscated the DVD player, smart girl).  What's a bored momma to do? 

I've waited in the car line a mere 9 days now (we have a glorious 171 left to go!) and estimate my useless time at somewhere around 3 hours and that's being downright generous (in that it's probably more than that). So all in all, I may spend somewhere near 60 HOURS waiting in the car line. Yes, folks, that's 2 1/2 days SITTING IN THE CAR LINE! I must get a hobby that doesn't require rapt attention and can be done in stop and go traffic. Seems the secret may be to do what I tried today and wait until school is dismissed before I ever leave the house, and then sit at a dead stop in traffic as someone who could care less that you are already late holds the "STOP" sign to your ever growing side of traffic and the "SLOW" sign to the side of traffic that is nonexistent. (I'll be honest, it was good that Chloe was with me today because I chose to pray instead of hang my head out the window screaming at the road workers!) Sorry, back on point. I arrived at the school and pulled almost right to the front! And I actually picked him up with only 7 minutes of waiting! Nevermind that he was one of only 5 children remaining and was crying because he thought I forgot him. I hardly had to wait at all! Ok, so he wasn't really crying and didn't seem to notice that I was later than usual. But the guilt I felt at not arriving until 20 minutes after school dismissal may lead me right back into the throes of 20 minute waits. Stupid need to be my own version of the great school mom! (Don't tell my kids I said the "s" word please.)

So here we are. Into the 2nd full week of school for my kindergartener, 2nd full week of Chloe's 3rd year of life and Matt's 3 week of being "over the hill." Next up? My birthday! And I couldn't be more grateful for the position in life that God has allowed me to slip into. Just wish He'd allow me to slip into the first spot in the car line from time to time!

Needs a Hobby In the Meantime,

Heather

Welcome Back-To Me

So, the last post I made was on the morning of April 27th, 2011. To some, that date carries no meaning, but to many now, it is the day of "the storms". Looking back, I find irony in #3 of my  last post. Well, now I have the trauma associated with storms and have reason to fear them, though I am trying so hard to calm myself and overcome the PTSD associated with tornadoes. I was just not able to get back to blogging after that point. I lost something for awhile. The grief and sorrow for neighbors and friends was overwhelming and still almost 4 months later, I see the destruction in our town and know some may never fully recover. But we've also seen the fighters, the overcomers and the faithful. The stories of heroism and protection are endless and I am strengthened by those I should be strengthening. It's not in us though. It is all in the power and grace of the Almighty.
I'm recommitting to my blog and hope that once I work out the kinks and oil the gears here, you will find encouragement and a few giggles as I share my (often, skewed) view of the world I live in! So, here goes!

This is an historic time in my life. My oldest child, Jackson, will be starting kindergarten in one teency weency little week. Wow. He's ready. He's prepared and I am choking back the tears. We go to orientation tonight to learn just how difficult that first day really will be! (or maybe a relief as he has recently developed a love for commercials and is asking for every thing he sees, or requesting that I add it to "his list." He can quote infomercials and tell me all the reasons that we need to buy such and such. Santa will never be able to fill all the requests. Any takers on that?)
Not only this, but my hubby turns 40 on Tuesday and my baby girl turns 3 the following Sunday! And then, it's the big 3-2 for me at the end of the month! It's a busy (party) time around Ryerson Acres (our affectionate nickname for our 6 acres)!
It's also 6 months from the time that I lost my baby early in the pregnancy.
Many milestones. Many joys. A few sorrows. I've learned so much about relationships and about myself as a friend, wife and mother. God has remained (unsurprisingly) faithful and life has continued by His grace. Soon, I will share more about these last few months. Today, I just needed to get back in there and start writing. So, Welcome back-to me.

Working it out-In the Meantime,
Heather